Celebrity Sighting of the Week: Ted Lange

In case you can't tell from the picture, it says "To Michael and Mary Jane. Thanks for the fun! Ted L."


Celebrities are people too...that's what my "celebrity sightings" posts serve to convey...we love them on the silver screen, and we should love them off it as well!

This time, it ws Ted Lange, aka "Issac" from the Love Boat that I came across when I was searching for real estate. Aside from making a mean Tom Collins, he also knows the "lay of the land"...
I spoke to him while searching for an investment condo to buy. He sized me up and said "You wanna live here?...I can make it happen!..." I was taken aback, but concluded that he must be a real estate agent. I said "I am considering it, but am not sure." Ted looked me up and down and replied with a coy smile, "Well I'm sure..."

Ted's ringing endorsement was impressive to me. I like confidence in a real estate broker. We went up in a few buildings, and to make sure I kept my balance, Ted continually kept his hand on my back. I looked at Ted appreciatively and said, "You know Ted, you can't buy this sort of customer service any more..." To which he replied, "Well, perhaps in Bangkok..."

I didn't really know what that meant, but I haven't been to Bangkok either, so I let it go. I looked around the properties and the model condos, and he even suggested that we sit on the couch to get a good idea of what it is really like. He suggested we test the floor strength and I agreed. He sat on my lap for a whole 5 minutes before finally declaring "It's hard and strong...just like I thought it would be..." I was beside myself, because I would have NEVER known to test for that when buying a property...I thanked God that Issac was there to guide me...

After testing the floor's resiliency in all of the rooms, we decided to put it on the "maybe" list...he felt the bedroom floors were pretty week, even though we tested all corners of the room....

As I went downstairs, I wantedto thank him and get his card. He said "Hey baby..you can't hang with Issac the Bartender and not have a drink with him!..."...I thought it was cool to drink with Issac from The Love Boat, so I agreed!

As we walked to the pub, I asked him for his business card to continue our real estate hunt. He said not to worry, and that he would give it to me REAL GOOD later, which was fine since we were getting a drink, I thought....

...Never before have I seen a more dedicated man to his job. Just as if he were making a Manhattan for a cruise patron, he was helping me make an informed investment decision. He went behind the bar to make us what he called "Cornhole Preppers"...

I never heard of this drink before, and told him I was a bit suspect of it, since I wasn't sure if I wanted a drink that had corn in it. He said not to worry, and that "I would love it once he gave it to me..."...I am pretty adventurous, so I was like, "Cool!"

After he came over to our table, he came really close and started reciting Marvin Gaye lyrics in my ear. I thought that was really cool, because I never really got the entire lyrics from "You Sure Love to Ball..." ...I was a little uncomfortable at this point....mostly because the table next to us had 4 cigar smokers at it....Issac, being the concerned service-oriented person that he is, said to me "You look like you have a headache. Here, take this." Who else would be concerned enough to give me an aspirin?

I mentioned to him that it looked like a rather strong and large aspirin, especially since it was shaped like a football and wrapped in a piece of aluminum foil. Ted said "Trust me homey, I wouldn't put anything in your body that I wouldn't want in my own body!"....With that kind of ringing endorsement, who could refuse such a guy that wanted so badly to help me?...I took the pill....and I think I had some sort of adverse reaction to the beer I was drinking, because I started to get dizzy and all I could see was Ted...he was smiling, so I figured everything was all right, and I think he asked me "Are you all right?"...but it kind of sounded like he could be saying "Party Time"...The last thing I remember was saying to Ted that "Ted, I don't want to be a 'party pooper..."...he said, "Dude, if you're one of those, well that's just FINE by me too!"


...I woke up at like 4 in the morning in the back alley behind the bar. I don't remember what happened after that...the last vision I had was Ted helping me out of the bar...And now, my body is really sore...apparently I must have fallen on my coccyx, because my lower back was killing me...I guess I made a fool of myself by getting drunk so quickly and embarrassing myself in front of my new friend and real estate agent. I didn't even get his card...

I want to use this forum to thank Ted Lange. Even though I didn't see him again, he helped me pick a great condo to buy, and I've rented it out for the next two years. I checked with every real estate company in town, but none of them employed a "Ted Lange." I even checked with the real estate agent registry, and there was no sign of his name. I figured he wanted to keep a low profile and go by a pseudonym...

Ted, if you do read this, it was wonderful to meet you, and thanks again for putting up with my sudden low tolerance. I still owe you your commission, so please let me know how to get in touch with you....